I'll be starting school in a few days and I have to say that this has been one of the most rollercoaster like summers ever. I've shed my own set of tears, laughed 'till I could barely breathe, shouted 'till my voice cracked, and so much more.
There have been so many times when I'm just sitting down and I start crying out of the blue because I made so many mistakes. I always remind myself of how foolish I am, of how people can easily hurt me with just a single word, of how absurd my decisions can be, of how little I mean to this world, of how I have so many dreams but know that I can't achieve them, and so many more things that bombard my mind and making me realize how big of a failure I really am.
But I kept on going. I realized that life goes on. Sometimes I forget how lucky I really am. How blessed I am to have received so many blessings in life. But then there are times when we just want to give up, when we feel as if we're drowning in our own misery. I've been there a lot of times. Not just during this summer, but way before that. Back when I was younger and couldn't handle any of this. But I guess now that I'm older, I finally realized everything.
This is me. This is my life. This is my world. This is my misery. I can make my sadness disappear if I want to. I am in control.
We don't need to remind ourselves of how we didn't say the right thing, of how we were too late, of how we made the wrong move and so much more. We don't need to remind ourselves of our mistakes in the past because that's just it. It's the past. It's done. You can't erase it. It's going to be with us for the rest of our lives. But the past isn't there to haunt us of our mistakes in the future. The past is there to help us learn from our mistakes so we can have a better future.
After so many years, this summer of 2012, made me finally realize something that was just staring me in the face: we are in control of our life. Not our past, not society, not our haters. Us. We have the control. We are the only ones who can change our life. No one else.